Have you ever tried to sit through a meal with a screaming child at the table next to you? Imagine this: You are sitting in a booth at a fantastic Mexican restaurant enjoying your chimichanga when suddenly a toddler in the booth beside you flings a spoon across the dividing wall and into your eye. That is exactly what happened to us tonight, but sadly to say I wasn't the one who pulled the spoon out of my eye. It was my daughter who threw the spoon! I apologized to the man profusely, but he seemed to be rather irritated. I think it really hurt his eye. He rolled his injured eye at me, and his date was quick to inform me that the spoon had indeed hit his eye. She was not happy either.
Now I wish I could say that it was the first time my daughter had misbehaved at dinner. As a matter of fact, before she was born, sitting at a table beside a screaming child, I remember telling my wife, "My child will only do that once," implying that my heavy disciplinary hand would bring any such outbursts to a quick halt. It turns out my disciplinary hand is about as heavy as Mary Kate Olson (that was inappropriate, wasn't it?).
A few months ago we were sitting in another booth at Outback. The three of us were sitting across from my sister-in-law and her husband. We were sitting back-to-back with a solitary man who was, in turn, sitting across from his wife. The man had a pony tail. While we were all concentrating on our meals, my daugher turned to find a tantalizing pony tail. Apparently she could not resist. Yep. She gave it a nice, hard yank. My wife and I did not see it; her brother-in-law did. We knew something was wrong by the look on his face. Then we turned around to look at the man. He was pretending nothing happened. When we finished our meal, I went to the man and apologized for daughter's zeal for pony tails. His response: "Don't you scold her for that. It's perfectly okay."
I must admit that I am much more like the guy with the spoon than I am the guy with the pony tail. I don't want to be inconvenienced; I surely don't want to take an assault from a flying spoon; and if I had one, I know I wouldn't want someone milking my pony tail at dinner.
Which one would Jesus have been? I think when Jesus said, "Let the children come to me," he meant, "Let them throw their spoons at me; let them pull my pony tail; let them be children." I think Jesus understood the innocence of children. I think Jesus knew that children were in the process of learning appropriate boundaries. I can't help but think it was inappropriate for children to be climbing all over a Rabbi. I can't help but think that the Disciples were just trying to maintain some level of appropriate boundaries between their teacher and the onslought of curious, inappropriate, snotty-nosed children. I can hear Peter saying, "If that were my kid, she'd only throw that spoon once." I can hear Thomas saying, "I doubt if those parents have any idea what they are doing." I can hear Judas saying, "Keep those kids away from the money." And then I hear Jesus: "Let the children come to me."
How can I be more like Jesus when it comes to children? I guess I need a pony tail.
2 comments:
you know I can jab a spoon in my eye all day long, and to no avail, I get used to it and comfortable and things move on. Me and my nemisis Willy used to staple our own arms and then submerse them in 2 degree water for several minutes... each time going longer than the next. It amazing how much I can tolerate when im the one creating the problem. In fact I have often thought and proposed removing my left hand.
However, I know I would not like to be jabbed in the eye all day with a spoon... or stapled by someone else... or dunked in Ice water by people. And I totally would not want to have someone remove my hand.
So I wonder why other people's screaming annoy me... when my own screaming is quite fun? Or why can I inflict pain and suffering and annoyance, But I'll be damned if I let someone else try that on me?
I think the answer is found somewhere in control. When I cause the pain/suffering/annoyance, I am
in control. When someone else causes these things i am at their mercy... they are in control and I am not.
it's the whole "Id rather kill myself before I let you kill me"
Sounds like something a samurai would say... or a group of crazy hebrew Zealots cornered up in a castle on a moutain ;)
it even reminds me of so called "cutters" or people who cut themselves to take the pain away from some outside force.
Anywho... back to my point
Control is what seems to make the difference.... The man who got spooned maybe wanted control out of his experience at dinner that night. Maybe he had it in his head, how dinner was going to go, and some annyoing little girl through a kink in his plans....
The other man with the pony tail... maybe he didnt have any preplanned thoughts for his nite... maybe he was playing it by ear? living in the moment.
When you live in the moment... you dont have control.
Maybe to live in the moment is to give up your control.... maybe its this letting go of control that makes us uneasy.
was it really a little girl that made him upset... or the fact that he wasnt in control of how he wanted his nite.. I know i dont want to get hit in the eye by some kid. not because its a kid... but because I was not expecting to get hit... IT was not in my plans that evening.
Maybe people are more afraid of giving up control and letting the moment lead to change.
Change is scary... specially when were not in control.
Give up your control to God... Its the only way to change
so airplanes are about the most inspirational vessels you could ever travel in. there are so many things about the flying experience that are so uncomfortable... and so wonderful. people are packed like sardines in a giant metal flying tube that is launched into the clouds. you are forced to snuggle with total strangers... i've seen sunsets from plane windows that look like they are hand painted. sometimes i think it's because you get to see God's view of the clouds. every time i catch those sunsets i feel like i am stealing them... like i've carved a peep hole to see a view i haven't paid admission for.
so, on my way home for christmas break this year i sat down in my usual window spot (always close to the front, i tend to feel a bit claustrophobic otherwise... i just know the day my flight goes down in a ball of flames the news report is going to say "its a miracle, the rear of the plane has broken off and landed safely")and waited while the rest of the cattle filed in. i was hoping that the seat next to me wouldn't be filled so that i wouldn't have to worry about making "plane talk" or who would get the arm rest. "plane talk" is that chatty small talk that everyone makes with strangers on the plane. i hate it cause it is usually so impersonal and meaningless and always ends so awkwardly. plus i'm usually just looking to pass out before the take off and wake up with the jolt of the landing.
anyway, the point of this ramble is that this particular day on the plane my wish was not granted and the two other seats in my isle were filled with two kids. they were probably about six and nine years old. then the man in the seat in front of me sat down, with an 18 month old in his lap and the couple behind me filed in with an infant. i was surrounded. now i'm not always the most laid back girl on the block, but that day was a good day and something my mom said about flying with children has never left me. she reminded me that you people (some might call you "parents") can't help it when your little maniacs scream on a plane. now this may seem obvious to those who have kids but its not to the average self-absorbed twenty something. now with this ground breaking revelation i realized that i couldn't get mad at the chorus of cries harmonizing with the unnecessarily loud game boy beeps next to me. you parents know your kids are annoying, you have to live with them all the time. plus, all that airplane screaming is embarrassing enough because most of the plane is looking at you like they want to choke you. i couldn't help but think "thank God it was me who got this seat and not some man who would get mad if a little girl threw a spoon at his eye"
so now eveytime i'm at church and the kid in the pew behind me is having soccer practice on my back, i have a new feeling that has replaced my prior impulse to want to see what noise he makes when i smack him. i feel compassion for the parent who is forced to be the zoo keeper. because the truth is, i am just an animal who escaped from the zoo not too long ago.
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